Panicked.

Last January I went to an English department forum on getting jobs in community colleges.  A professor from Mesa College suggested getting a certificate to expand the number of classes we could teach.  For example, reading or English as a Second Language.  Great career move.

I visited an ESL class and loved the students.  I filled out an application for an internship--and then I crossed my fingers.  Well, I got the internship and now I need to take a few classes to get the certificate.  

The internship and the classes add up to a lot of hours, and that could leave me unable to teach writing, my first love.  And that's assuming I could find a class or two to teach anyways.  

So great career move, but I don't know if my heart's in it.  

Last night I went to an informal gathering of interns and mentors and I gravitated toward the English teachers. Because that's what I love.  I totally love English.  

I've never made what's considered good career moves.  I've never even made career moves in the past.  I just kind of went along with the flow.  

Ultimately, this can help my career teaching English as well because I'll make great contacts.  And it will help my ability to teach ESL students in the regular classroom, one of my original goals.  

But this next year will be incredibly hard.  Sigh.  Sometimes I don't like being an adult.