Thursday, October 6, 2011

Strength to the Weary - Isaiah 40

I have a stack of more than 300 papers that need reviewed.

That's what happens if you assign a lot of homework to give students practice writing and if you have more than 140 students and if you don't have time to look at their work for two days because you filled up your grading time by meeting with students or attending or related meetings or appointments.

Or you spend the weekend reading rough drafts.

I woke up last night and I felt like I was drowning, like I couldn't breathe.  I thought about today, going into Grossmont for my internship from 9:00 to 2:30 and then racing over to State to meet with the department head about him observing my classroom when I don't have solid lesson plans for tomorrow and then going down to IT to learn how to use plagiarism software and then meeting with additional students and then going to worship practice.

When would I EVER have a chance to read those papers?

I sent an email to my Grossmont mentor and took this morning off.  I hate seeming irresponsible.  I take my commitments very seriously.

I haven't gotten much done.  I needed to catch up on student emails and wanted to spend some time praying. I need spiritual and emotional refreshing.  And physical rest.

In the background, I could hear my daughter Caitlin playing her guitar, singing, and worshiping.  Her door was closed, and I wished I could hear her better from my room.

She came in a little later and asked if I would listen to a song she might lead at college group.  I listened for technical things, like she asked, and then the lyrics sunk in.

You are the everlasting God.  You will not sleep - you won't grow weary.
You're the defender of the weak.  You comfort those in need.
You lift us up on wings like eagles.

After she left I turned to Isaiah 40, the inspiration for the lyrics.

Obviously I have some important scheduling issues I need to deal with.  I need to make some tough choices that I should have made last August.

I don't blame God for my anxiety.  I think it--and my incredibly ridiculous schedule--stem from lack of trust, but that is another discussion.

The thing is, because of God's grace, I can still rest in these promises.
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary.  His understanding no one can fathom. 
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.  
After we discussed the pros and cons of singing this at college group this evening, I thanked her for singing this particular song because it ministered to me uniquely and reminded me of God's greatness.  I told her I was going to read the passage from Isaiah.  She asked if she could pray for me and she did.

Today I am grateful for songs that remind me of God's greatness and his power to minister to me when I am weak.  I am grateful for Caitlin, who sings to me and prays for me when she knows I'm struggling.

And I'm grateful for God's promises.

On with the remainder of my day.
I'm praying I can remain in a place of rest even as I begin marking papers and getting ready for this afternoon and tomorrow.