I cover the same territory over and over again, experience the same fears, and struggle through the same difficulties.
I ask myself the same questions:
- Why am I doing this?
- Is there something wrong with me that I'm not making any progress?
- Does life really have to be so hard?
- Isn't there a better way?
I keep trying to figure things out, but I don't have solutions, and I'm tired.
I want to jump off.
I've done that on a treadmill before. Accidentally.
I ended up with bruises and abrasions, and I felt really stupid. I should have been paying attention. Hanging on to the bar instead of closing my eyes and enjoying the walk.
Or maybe the treadmill of life is different.
Maybe I should let go of the what ifs and the constant problem solving and give my questions to God.
Maybe I just need to close my eyes, trust God, and keep moving.