Saturday, August 9, 2008

Remembering Why

I start school on September 2.

Nine units.
Sometimes I think I must be crazy.

How am I going to take nine units, continue to home school my daughter, maintain relationships with Duane, my kids, and friends.

How am I going to exercise and clean and cook?
How am I going to pursue writing and getting published when my time is spent studying?
How am I going to make time to spend with God?

I can't do everything!

I start thinking about all of this and I start to panic--and I haven't even started yet.

It is important for me to remember why I want to go to school and so I am going to write down the reasons:
  • I don't want to be a church secretary for the rest of my life.
    • I love working for the church. I do.
    • I have some administrative gifts, but this does not define me.
    • On days when my job is primarily administrative, I am completely drained.
    • I want to prepare myself to step into another role as God provides opportunities.
  • I see myself as a writer and a teacher. Everything I do comes from this perspective.
    • I ask myself how can we communicate this topic better?
    • My desire is to mentor, to teach, to change thought patterns.
    • I love teaching.
    • I love creating materials for others to use to teach.
    • I love writing down ideas that influence and teach.
    • Writing, developing curriculum, and teaching and encouraging others energizes me and makes me feel alive.
  • I want to meet new people--people with diverse ideas and philosophies.
When life gets hard this fall, when I want to quit, when I want to stay where I am because it really isn't that bad...

I need to remember why I am doing what I am doing.

I want to be who I was made to be.
I want to walk into the future God planned for me.
I want to continually redefine myself so that God use me to do things that are bigger than me.

Don't forget, Erin. Don't forget.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Learning to Move

I journal nearly every day, but entering the blogosphere seems like entering a foreign world.

Almost like when I got off the airplane in Korea.
As soon as the plane landed, I panicked. I started praying, "God, what was I thinking? I can't do this!"
People like me don't go to Korea.

And yet, there I was in Korea. For two full weeks. Eating kimchee and jellyfish and squid. I had never even had sushi before that.

For 43 years I lived in the "someday" realm. Someday I will write books. Someday I will go back to school for a Master's. Someday I will travel to Europe and beyond.

Someday started the day I signed up to go to Cameroon on a mission trip.

Then God's word to me was, "Jump!"
Do the thing you have always wanted to do. Don't worry about the consequences. Just do it.
Now I have been to Cameroon in Africa two times. I have been to Paris, to Nairobi, and to Korea.

God's word to me now is a little different.
He is saying, "Move."
Step out in faith and move.

Moving is a little different than jumping.
When you jump, you get where you are going pretty quickly.
When you are moving, it's all about the journey.
I am on a journey, learning to move into areas where God has asked me to go for years.

I am going back to school in September.
I am committed to writing.
I am committed to moving.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.

Psalm 84:5