The thing is, the road to God's purposes sometimes gets rocky. Sometimes it's all uphill. Sometimes life is hard. And I think that's one of the reasons Paul includes this next section from Romans 8:38-39:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.Nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from the love of God. Nothing can make God love us more, and nothing can make God love us less. He loves us. This is absolute.
Sometimes we don't feel God's love. But even then he loves us. Sometimes, like David, we feel like God has abandoned us. But he still love us.
Sometimes, when I don't know how God's going to work things out, and I have questions about the future, I think that God will just give me what I deserve. He won't deliver me. He won't rescue me. He doesn't love me. At least not as much as he loves other people.
This summer was one of those times. I just felt like maybe if I had managed my finances better maybe I wouldn't need a job. Or at least not as bad. I thought maybe I shouldn't go to school. Or I should quit.
I was afraid God wouldn't do anything and then . . . I don't know what I thought would happen, but I didn't feel God's love.
And so sometimes--I went back and forth between trusting God and not trusting God--I felt separated from God's love. But he never stopped loving me.
I'm grateful for the days when I really could rest in God's love. But I'm also grateful for the days when I struggled. Because that's when I learned the most about who God is and how much he actually loves me.
He loves me right now, as I feel a little overwhelmed and flustered. At least I'm not as overwhelmed and flustered as I was when I woke up this morning.
Okay. On with my day. I don't think I'm going to make it over to the church by 8:30, but it'll be fine.